Trust Repair: The Leadership Skill That Holds Teams Together in Uncertain Times

If you’ve ever lived through a restructure, you know the real stress rarely comes from the new org chart alone. It comes from the human gaps. The moments of silence and the conversations that don’t happen.
The leader who retreats when things get hard.

I was having coffee with a friend recently who’s deep inside one of these organisational shakeups. The work is changing, the people are changing, and the pressure is relentless. But what hurt him wasn’t the change. It was his manager's disappearance that made things feel uncertain.

No check-ins or small reassurances.
No “hey, how are you holding up?” Just dead silence.

He wasn’t just angry. He was confused and, underneath that, unsettled.

As he talked, I felt that familiar recognition from my early social work years that I have taken with me throughout my career and parenting journey.
This wasn’t about capability; it was about connection, or in this instance, lack of connection. The moment he described had a name, a skill.
One that sits at the heart of relational leadership but is almost never taught: Trust Repair.

What Trust Repair Actually Is

Trust Repair is a recognised capability in leadership development and organisational psychology. It comes into play when something shifts in a relationship. A tense meeting, a rushed tone, a miscommunication, a leader stepping out of the room when emotions rise, a promise missed or a moment mishandled.

The shift isn’t the issue alone. The absence of repair is.

Trust Repair is the skill of circling back.
Not with a formal apology.
Not with formal performance language.
But with real human thought and intention. It sounds like:

“I want to loop back to yesterday’s meeting. My early exit wasn’t ideal. Let’s reconnect and make sure we’re all on the same page.”

A straightforward moment, but it shifts the entire emotional climate.

What I Learnt Long Before Leadership Theory

Before I stepped into leadership consulting, I learnt this skill in a very different setting.
In social work, we call it rupture and repair, which was developed by Psychologist - Edward Tronick.

Any moment of disconnection is a rupture. The repair is the moment you return to the relationship to restore. In the work context, you would hear me call this “mop up my mess.”

It’s simple and foundational. Not fixing the rupture leads to spiralling.
Repairing it strengthens trust, and I see this play out at home too.
I teach this same principle to my three young girls when we’ve had a tricky parenting moment.
We always come back to each other.
I name what happened, own my mistake, and repair it so that we can steady the relationship before moving on.

It’s surprising how this skill is so natural in childhood, yet somehow gets lost as we become adults and step into workplaces. The need doesn’t change. Only the language does.

When I moved into leadership development, I realised the same principle existed — just with a different name.
Trust Repair, and it matters just as much.

Why Trust Repair Works (The Human Science)

Trust Repair is so effective because it works with the nervous system, not against it.

Here’s what happens internally when a leader repairs a mishap at work:

1. It lowers the threat response

Uncertainty activates protective behaviour. A repair tells the brain, “This relationship is safe.”

2. It closes the story loop

When leaders don’t explain a rupture, people make up their own stories, and those stories are almost always worse.

3. It restores alignment

A quick repair stops misunderstandings from growing into weeks of tension.

4. It reinforces psychological safety

People don’t expect perfection. They expect presence.

The Cost of Avoiding Repair

Leaders rarely avoid repair out of malice. More often, it comes from:

• wanting to avoid conflict

• not knowing what to say

• fear of making it worse

• feeling overloaded

• worrying about how they’ll be perceived.

But withdrawal reads as indifference, and indifference chips away at trust more quietly and more powerfully than any organisational change ever could.

Teams don’t fall apart because something went wrong. They fall apart because no one went back to check on the relationship.

What Trust Repair Looks Like in Practice

You don’t need a script. You need to be willing to return. Here are simple approaches that work:

The Direct Reset

“I’ve been thinking about yesterday. It didn’t land how I intended. Can we reset?”

The Calm Clarifier

“The meeting felt a bit off. I want to check in and make sure we’re aligned.”

The Team Repair

“I stepped out early yesterday. Not ideal. Let’s take two minutes to reconnect before we move on.”

The Reflective Acknowledger

“That moment was tense. I want to acknowledge it, so it doesn’t sit awkwardly between us.”

Small, human and steady. That’s it.

Why Leaders Need This Skill Now More Than Ever

The modern workplace runs on uncertainty. Roles shift, priorities change, people carry invisible loads, and middle managers sit right in the emotional centre of it all.

Your team watches your behaviour more than your words.
If you pull back, they brace. If you repair, emotions and culture settle.

Trust Repair doesn’t require confidence.
It requires humility, awareness and the courage to come back.

Final Thought

If you’ve found yourself withdrawing from challenging moments this year, you’re not failing.
You’re human, and the load is real.

But repair is always available. Even a minor repair can pull a team out of confusion and back into connection.

And when leaders repair consistently, they build the kind of trust that holds steady in change, stress, uncertainty, and pressure.

Because people don’t need perfect leaders, they need leaders who show up in the tricky times and come back!

References

Trust Repair & Organisational Behaviour
Dirks, K. T., Lewicki, R. J., & Zaheer, A. (2009). Repairing relationships within and between organisations.
Kim, P. H., Dirks, K. T., & Cooper, C. D. (2009). The repair of trust: A dynamic process model.

Rupture and Repair (Social Work & Psychotherapy)
Tronick, E. (2007). The neurobehavioural core of human development.

Neuroscience & Stress Regulation
Siegel, D. J. (2010). The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are.

Leadership & Psychological Safety
Edmondson, A. (2019). The fearless organisation.
Brown, B. (2018). Dare to Lead.